Figuring Stuff Out

It has been a month since my last post. So what have I been doing in the past month? Well, I haven’t done anything to give gorilla tracking a run for its’s money, and I don’t have any thrilling stories about a boda-boda accident or freak run in with my neighbor’s pet monkey (my neighbor doesn’t really have a monkey). Life has just been life.

Although low-key, this past month has been a period of some serious reflection. At the beginning of the month I became quite frustrated with my life in Uganda, leading me to believe that I wanted nothing more than to give up and go home. But with the encouragement of a couple of great friends, prayer, and a change of heart, my contentment has multiplied and I am happy to be here for now.

If you’re interested, a few things I have learned in the past month are:

- Loneliness isn’t that bad. There’s more time for chatting with friends online, reading, exercising, and taking naps. And who am I kidding? I’m an introvert—I no longer need an excuse to be a recluse—the excuse is built right into my life!

- Making friends outside of college is very different than making friends in college. Friends here come in all ages and professions. I have friends who are my parents’ age, some who are in high school, some who are Ugandan, and many who are American. Some guard a gate and others are attorneys. Each brings something unique to my life and to our friendship, for which I am grateful. Diversity is truly a blessing—we have so much to learn from others!

- Some of the greatest gifts are the “little” things in life. When I was younger and quite worried about my vertically challenged stature, my Grammy always used to tell me that the best gifts in life came in small packages. While I’d brush it off and think, “yeah, she has to say that—I’m her only granddaughter,” now I know that there are amazing blessings in the seemingly small things. I have been so encouraged by a fun filing-cabinet-organizing session with my boss, an ultimate Frisbee game with a bunch of Ugandans, and outings I initiate with new friends. Even things like coming home to clean laundry, electricity, and slow-but-working internet have become major uppers.

- I have to be myself. I can’t be someone I’m not. Seems straight-forward enough but I have found myself trying to be someone I’m not. This is not only exhausting, it’s impossible to fit in! I think I was worried about pleasing people (“I think”? Come on Megan, you’re a major people pleaser…), but trying to be someone I believe others will like better than the real me has been fruitless and frustrating. I am still figuring out what it looks like to “just be myself” in Uganda, but at least I know that it’s ok to be me, and probably the best way to go.

That’s it for now. I don’t want to get preachy or sentimental. I don’t pretend that these are insightful nuggets of wisdom, nor do I pretend that I haven’t ever heard them before. But if you wanted to know what I’ve been re-learning this month, those are some of the lessons that have helped me become more content here and get through a phase where I really started to despise life away from the comforts of best friends, family, and fast internet.

I realized that I have used the word “I” way too many times in this passage. I do not think that my time in Uganda is all about me. I hope that in applying the above lessons a better version of me will develop and be used for loving and serving more people. I can only pray that this would be the case.